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Dear Diary (Very Funny)
March 18, 2009, 5:51 pm
Filed under: Funny Jokes, ~Other Jokes

[Imported]August 12    Moved to our new home in New York. It is so beautiful here, the mountains are so majestic. Can hardly wait to see them covered with snow. I love it here!

October 14    New York is the most beautiful place on earth, the leaves are all the colors and shades of red and orange. Went for a ride through the beautiful mountains and saw some deer. They are so graceful. Certainly they are the most wonderful animals on earth. This is paradise. I love it here!

November 11    Deer season will start soon. I can’t imagine anyone wanting to kill such a gorgeous creature. Hear it will snow soon, I love it here!

December 1     It snowed last night, woke up to find everything blanketed with white. It looks like a postcard. We went outside and cleaned off the steps and shoveled the driveway, we had a snowball fight ( I won) and when the snowplow came by, we had to shovel the driveway again. What a beautiful place. I love New York.

December 12    More snow last night, I love it. The snowplow did his trick again to the driveway. I love it here.

December 19    More snow last night, couldn’t get out of the driveway to get to work. I am exhausted from shoveling, fucking snowplow.

December 22    More of that white shit fell last night. I’ve got blisters on my hands from shoveling, I think the snowplow hides around the curve and waits until I’m done shoveling the driveway. Asshole!

December 25    Merry fucking Christmas! More fucking snow. If I ever get my hands on that son of a bitch who drives the snowplow, I swear I will kill the bastard. Don’t know why they don’t use more salt on the roads to melt the fucking ice.

December 27    More white shit last night, been inside for three days except for shoveling out the driveway after the snowplow goes through every time. Can’t go anywhere, the cars stuck in a mountain of white shit. The weatherman says to expect another 10′ of the shit again. Do you know how many shovelfuls of snow 10′ is?

December 28    The fucking weatherman was wrong, we got 34′ of that white shit this time. At this rate it won’t melt before next summer, the snowplow got stuck up the road and the bastard came to the door and asked to barrow my shovel! After I told him I had broken six shovels already shoveling all the shit he had pushed into my driveway, I broke my last one over his fucking head.

January 4    Finally got out of the house today, went to the store to get food and on the way back a damn deer ran in the front of the car and I hit it. Did about $3,000 damage to the car, those fucking beasts should be killed, wish the hunters would have killed them all.

May 3    Took the car to the garage in town, would you believe the thing is rusting out from all the fucking salt they put all over the roads.

May 10    Moved to Florida. Can’t imagine why anyone in their right mind would ever live in the God-forsaken state of New York!!!

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