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A Close Encounter with a Wooden Barrel
March 18, 2009, 5:01 pm
Filed under: Funny Jokes, ~Other Jokes

Dear Sir,

I am writing in response to your request for additional information given on my hospital insurance form. In block No.3 of the form, I put “Trying to do the job alone” as the cause of my accident. You said in your letter that I should explain more fully, and I trust that the following details will be sufficient:

1. I am a bricklayer by trade. On the day of the accident, I was working alone on the roof of a new 4-story building. When I completed my work, I discovered that I had about 500 lbs. of bricks left over. Rather than carrying the bricks down, I decided to lower them in a wooden barrel using a rope and pulley attached to the side of the building, at the 4th floor.

2. Securing the rope at ground level, I went up to the roof, swung the barrel out, and loaded the bricks into it. Then I went back to ground level and untied the rope and held it tightly to ensure a slow decent of the 500 lbs. of brick. You will note in block No. 11 of my accident form that I weigh 135 lbs.

3. Because of my surprise at being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope. Needless to say, I proceeded at a rather rapid rate up the side of the building.

4. In the vicinity of the second floor, I meet the barrel coming down. This explains the fractured arm and broken collarbone.

5. Slowly only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until my fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley.

6. Fortunately by this time, I had regained my presence of mind and was able to hold onto the rope in spite of the pain.

7. At approximately the same time, however, the wooden barrel of bricks hit the ground – and the bottom fell out of the barrel. Devoid of the weight of the bricks, the barrel now weighed approximately 50 lbs.

8. I refer you again to my weight of 135 lbs. in block No. 11. As you might imagine, I began a rapid descent down the side of the building. In the vicinity of the second floor, I met the barrel coming up. This accounts for the two fractured ankles and the lacerations on my legs and lower body.

9. The encounter with the barrel slowed me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell onto the pile of bricks and, fortunately, only 3 vertebra’s were cracked.

10. I am sorry to report, however, that as I lay there on the pile of bricks in pain, unable to look up and see the empty barrel 4 stories above me – I again, lost my presence of mind and I let go of the rope!

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